Tribute to Loubie; My mother, my friend

My mother was born Betty Louise Flannary.  Her first husband, while not my Dad, was the love of her life.  He died of Hodgkins disease while my Mother was carrying his only son, their second child.  My Mom met my Dad a few years later and she tells that she fell in love with him because he was so different than her first husband.  My Dad was full of life - funny, good looking and everyone loved him.  He wasn't an intellilectual, like her first husband, but she loved him.  He had a son.  They got married and then had me and my baby sister, Lisa.  My Dad never officially adopted my oldest sister and brother out of respect for their father, who was an only child and so wanted to carry on his family name. 

My Mother is the strongest woman I have ever known.  Sometimes, especially since growing older, I often think of her as a true miracle.  She was born in 1930 in an economically depressed area called Appalachia, VA.  Her mother was uneducated.  So was her father, who worked in the coal mines of Southwest Virginia for many years.  My mother, who we lovingly call "Loubie," somehow made it into college at the University of Virginia, where she graduated the nursing program and went on to become an RN and LPN.  The first person in her family to graduate college.  Her great love of the written word has pretty much inspired me to both read and explore writing.  Even today, her favoriate things are reading, Jeopardy (the television show) and Crossword puzzles.  Oh, and spending time with her great grandchildren.  She is a true caregiver.  Heck, I think she invented the word when she was in her early 20's.  That's when she took care of her very first patient - her husband who was dying.  Even with a young baby underfoot, her husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness.  And while devastated, he asked her to consider having another baby - hoping it would be a boy to carry on his family name.  And knowing that she soon would be a single mother (back in 1950, are you kidding me?) she agreed to try.  And soon, she was the mother of two children - children who were 10 months apart - both in diapers - burying her husband in a town where she knew no one.

From there, she started on her care-giving journey and to be very honest with you, some 60 years later - at age 80, she is still taking care of people.  Now, her great-grandchildren are her pride and joy.  They simply adore her and she is quite energetic and loves to take them - where else - but the library!  We have all gleaned a love of reading from my Mom.

You will be hard pressed to find another woman of her era who is more energetic, intelligent or better loved than my mom, Loubie.  So, on Mother's Day and in honor of my Mom, Loubie, I offer these words:

Mom, without you, there would be no me.  Your love, your attention, your guidance, have made me who I am. Without you, I would be lost, wandering aimlessly.  Sure, I may have gotten there someday, but it sure was nice following along in the path that you carved out.  


You showed me the way to serve, to accomplish, to persevere.  Without you, there would be an empty space I could never fill, no matter how I tried.  Instead, because of you, I am a much better person today.  A better mother.  A better wife.  A better daughter.  And better friend.  


Thank you, Loubie.  I have always loved you and I always will.  And I am so very proud to call you my Mother.

Tracy

To Olivia

Isn't it funny how the body is willing, but the mind won't cooperate when it's time for sleep?  Today was a hectic day at the ministry - many projects to finish and a few that needed to begin.  My big project this week is writing a feasibility study and business plan for a start-up social enterprise catering business.  You would think that after hours of executive summaries, market research, sales and forecasting, the mind would be ready to follow the body to bed. 

As tired I was physically, I could hardly drag myself into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.  But I just couldn't turn off my mind.  Thoughts were tumbling around of my 17 year old daughter, Olivia.  In less than one month, she will be graduating from high school.  This weekend is her Senior Prom -- and you know how hectic (and expensive) that is.  My mind was reeling with last-minute "to do's to prepare her -- Saturday will be one of our wildest days this Spring, with all the appointments for nails, makeup, hair and photos before the 'big night" - and let's not forget about that long night of waiting up until the wee hours to hear about all the dances, all the fun, all the memories that she will not soon forget.

But my mind kept going back to life with Olivia and how quickly the time has flown by.  I really can't believe she will be in college this Fall.  It seems like just last week she was wearing little pink dresses and big bows and smiling that sweet smile that would melt any Mothers' heart.  I know that many folks think they have the perfect child.  I haven't really ever thought of any of my children as perfect.  But I truly believe that God put Olivia in the center of our family (middle child) as a balance, a peacemaker, a calm in the eye of the storm.  She is darn near perfect in that regard.  She is easy going, logical, caring and tender.  And she cares deeply about things.  Little things that others her age may have missed.

And then I remembered the letter.  The letter that I had begun to write her about life.  The letter that I was going to place in her Senior Yearbook, only later to find out that it would have cost me over $400 to place there.  So I had stopped in mid-sentence and tucked it away on my laptop until I could figure out how to raise that dough only to discover it was near impossible right now.


So, with no sleep in sight for a while, I pulled up the letter on my laptop and I prayed.  "God, please give me the words to say to Olivia.  The words I would say if it was the very last thing I could ever express to this dear, sweet child of mine."  And this is how it flowed:

Olivia:


We have attempted to provide you with insight into the important things in life, and we have been proud to see them take root, firmly planted deep within you;  to be good, always helpful to other people; to be fair, always treating others equally; to have a positive attitude at all times; to always make things right when they are wrong; to know what talents God has given you, and then to use them for His glory. To set goals for yourself and to be not be afraid to work hard to achieve your goals; to choose friends wisely and then to honor those friendships; and to particularly respect and love your elders. To always put God first in all things.

And now begins the harder part of being parents - it is time for you to use those beautiful wings that have been developing all along the way. And so we offer these words of encouragement and advice as you move to the next stage of life;  Know yourself well, listen to your emotions and adhere to your values.  Don’t be afraid to stick to your beliefs, to not follow the majority when the majority is wrong. Enter into a relationship with someone worthy of yourself, and then love this person unconditionally. And always remember to seek God’s will for your life in all you choose to do and to be.


In what we hoped to accomplish in raising you, if any of these slipped by while we were all so busy, we have a deep belief that you somehow know them anyway. One thing we are sure of is that we have loved you every second of your life, we have supported you at all times, and we will continue to love everything about you every moment of every day.

Congratulations, sweet Olivia. We are so very proud to call you our daughter.


Mom and Dad
 

I think she'll like it.  I think she'll cherish it and pull it out many times over her life to review every word, every thought, and hopefully, she will always, always feel the love with which it was penned.